Keep Learning

The first three months of 2018 have blown by. Every day, every month seems to go by faster and faster. I don't know where the time has gone looking back at it. I have been teaching acting classes, elementary and middle school. The students are so inspiring and energetic. They are full of life and ideas. I wish I could bottle their energy, fearlessness and spunk and have it every morning for breakfast. It's been hard for me to stay inspired and energized. I have realized that these past few month spent with students have been some of the most fun days I've had. I've also had the chance to teach two workshops at my high school alma mater. They don't have any full-time theatre faculty. The choir teacher, who was also my choir teacher when I was a student there, is currently co-teaching musical theatre with a language arts teacher. The class has 70 students in it. I don't understand how the administration doesn't realize the need for a thriving theatre program there. The students want it. They need it. I needed it when I was a student there. If there hadn't been a theatre program when I was in high school, I don't know where I'd be today or what I'd be doing. It was a life-line in high school for me. It's where I could express myself and where I found out who I was and who I wanted to become. It's truly been a blessing to work with these students. They are so eager to learn and explore. It's inspired me to go back to school and finish the education degree I'd been pursuing alongside my theatre degree. I'm meeting with an advisor to see what steps I need to take to finish that portion of the degree. I'm so happy to be a mentor to these high school students who want to become actors. They have great questions and ideas. I find myself giving them very detailed advice about auditions that I had forgotten myself. I have found myself becoming more confident and prepared in auditions after having met with these students. By giving them pointers on auditioning and preparing a role, I found myself listening to my own advice again. It helped me push down the negative voice in my head, the voice of anxiety and fear. Every day I battle with fear. I have to consciously talk myself out of being afraid to go after something. Acting is constantly having to recommit yourself to the craft. I love it and I wouldn't choose to do anything else. 

This month I have a show with Original Practice Shakespeare Festival! I'll be playing a witch, murderer and Angus in Macbeth! More info on time and location under the events tab on my website. Also I am excited to say I will be playing Viola De Lesseps in a staged reading performance of Shakespeare In Love! Info about that is also under the events tab. I've had a few auditions and callbacks this month that I am waiting to hear back from so keep your fingers crossed for me! Fight those voices in your head saying you aren't good enough. Never give up. Always keep learning. 

Kels

Cheers to a beautiful year!

2017 has come to an end. What a year! My first full year post-undergrad, my first year navigating the world of professional theatre and a year of growth. As I look back over this year, I am most satisfied with the personal and professional growth made in 2017. I started 2017 with an adventure I'd never thought I'd take. I spent a month on the other side of the country away from everyone I knew to study and train in Shakespeare. I was so afraid. I had never done anything on my own like this before. I knew deep inside that I could do it, but I was terrified daily by the negative thoughts running through my head trying to beat down my confidence. I felt so unprepared and so green to the whole intensive. I thought I was in way over my head. I was doing a great job of standing in my own way. What I accomplished that month was much more than the new knowledge of acting techniques and new way of looking at Shakespeare's text. I gained knowledge about my self. I found my voice. I felt and claimed my body and vowed to express myself and my voice in a new way. I was awakened. This is not to say that I never doubt myself or stop myself from my full potential, because I do. My head gets in the way of the natural impulses my body wants to make, but I continue to work on my craft and my own personal growth. Well all I can say is, this training changed my life. That was a highlight this year that I am ever grateful for. I told myself that I want to blog much more than I actually did, so in 2018 I strive to be much better at it. I love having an outlet to reflect things I've been working on and to also have a place for friends and family to take a peak into my work.

So many things have happened since my last blog! This winter I participated in another Shakespeare & Co. intensive. I went to the Portland Weekend intensive in November with 10 other actors. It was taught by Dave who was also one of the teachers at the month-long intensive I was at in January. It was so great to see him again and it felt so good to get back into the work that I had started in January. I always tend to feel sad and unmotivated in the fall, so I was so thankful to have this intensive to wake me up and get me moving again. It's so nice to take a weekend away to reconnect to my body and voice. Everyday life, especially when you have a dull day job like I do, can make it to have creative outlets to fuel my mind and body. At the intensive got to work on a new monologue and got to meet so many amazingly talented new friends. Shortly after that I shot two commercials for a chocolate company call Marich. (The chocolate is delicious by the way.) There were a few short internet ads that will be used in an internet based advertisement campagin for the company, two of which I am the feature in! Shortly after shooting those I was hired for a a job with Portland Spirit River Cruises as an actor on the Cinnamon Bear cruises. These are kids cruises that ran from Thanksgiving weekend until Christmas Eve where I was a Christmas fairy called Snowflake. It was so magical. The kids loved all of the characters and it was so fun to play a fairy from the magical land of "Maybeland", where anything was possible. The work was two cruises a day, all weekend with a few weekday cruises close to Christmas. This along with my day job kept me very busy and exhausted. It was great experience in children's theatre, but I am so glad to have this last weekend of 2017 off to rest and enjoy time with my husband and family. 

Snowflake. Cinnamon Bear Cruise Winter 2017 

Cheers to 2018! Thank you to everyone who has read my blog or who has supported me in other ways. I look forward to many new projects this upcoming year. I will be updating my website to reflect these projects with blogs and photos. Up next : a Reader's Theatre performance of "Boy" where I will be playing Jenny, happening at the end of January. Other than that it is time for me to gear up by working on new material for the many auditions I have planned in 2018. 

Wishing you all a Happy New Year!

Love, 

Kels

"Now Summer Bliss and Gawdy Days are Gone..."

I cannot believe that Summer 2017 is coming to a close. What a year it has been already! My last blog post is from June which marked the beginning of my season with Original Practice Shakespeare Festival. I've come a long way since June. Our first show of the season was A Midsommer Nights Dreame (first folio spelling because it's what we do). We just finished up our season the last weekend in August with The Comedie of Errors and Twelfe Night. We also had a cast party/secret show which our lovely dramaturg, Sarah Jane, wrote. She adapted a Shakespeare-inspired stage version of the classic board game and movie, Clue. It was so much fun! This blog is dedicated to the happens of my summer doing Shakespeare as well as, a glimpse into what comes next for me. 

Golden Gate Bridge, San Fransisco, Ca.

 July 2017

This summer was the busiest summer I've ever had. I started summer with a full-time job, an internship with a professional theatre company which included acting in half of their shows, living an hour and a half from the city where the shows were held, and having another part-time job. Oh, and I'm a wife, daughter, sister and most importantly, Auntie Kels. Luckily, Stuart started a new job this summer which allowed me to quit my part-time serving job at Red Robin in July. All in all, it was an insane summer. Would I have changed anything? Nah...

Being an intern with OPS Fest this summer was an amazing opportunity as an artist for me. I was able to work along-side veteran actors and learn about what goes into being apart of a professional company. Each week workshops were held on different topics. Voice, fight, improv and other techniques that were focused around how to implement them into the OPS world. It was so helpful to have these workshops not only for working with this company, but also taking these techniques into future auditions and productions. 

OPS is such a unique type of acting, especially Shakespeare. The audience is extremely interactive, having an onstage prompter makes for funny improv scenes and being that this was my first time using a scroll onstage made from some silly mistakes. Learning from these mistakes has taught me the most. Like checking to make sure you're truly at the end of your scroll so you aren't being told your cue line 2-3 times from the prompter or making sure that you don't accidentally change costumes too soon. 

I feel like I rocked this summer. I was able to work full-time, go on two short vacations, have an anniversary weekend away and still do my shows for the season without a (complete) mental breakdown. There were weeks I rarely saw my husband, but I can say the experience was worth it. The hard work has given me perspective and a glimpse into the life of a professional actor. Now I want more. 

Finishing out this season has been so fun and I'm so thankful for all the new friends I've made. Now I am looking forward into the future and my next steps. As of now, I am not booked for any shows during fall or winter. Even having this last week or so without any theatre commitments has felt strange. I've been reading, catching up on housework, making every meal at home and spending quality time with my amazingly supportive hubby. The time I've allowed myself to have at home has been relaxing and therapeutic for my mental and physical health. I'm so thankful for this time at home. But as a woman who pushes herself to be successful and never stop working, I have got to get back to business. I am challenging myself to blog once a week and reading books over spending an hour on social media. I have acting workshops I will be attending because I never want to stop learning and molding my craft. I am brainstorming an original play I plan on finishing in the next year, as well as, a book idea that I'm so excited about. There's always more to come people!

Stay up-to -date with everything I'm working on by following my blog and social media posts as I am going to do better at posting about my work. Thank you again to everyone who has supported and inspired me this summer (and always). 

I love you all.

Kelsea Ashenbrenner

P.S.

I'm heading to the Oregon Shakespeare Festival next week so check in with me for reviews on the shows and updates about my time in Ashland with my Shakes and Co. roomie, (bestie for life) Isabelle. 

San Fransisco, Ca.

July 2017

What I want you to know about me is...

It's been a busy few months since my last post. Since coming home from Shakespeare and Co. I've jumped right into the Portland Area theatre scene and have been doing multiple auditions a month. It's be an insane journey. My first audition in Portland since coming home was the Unified Shakespeare general auditions. I prepare two short monologues that were under two minutes total and  performed them for a group of directors from many theatre companies around Portland. This was my first multi-company audition. All that it entails is showing up, preforming and waiting to see if you get any responses from directors wanting to see you again. I was ecstatic to get an email from Original Practice Shakespeare Company asking me to come to an informational meeting about their company because someone had seen me in the audition and recommended me. I couldn't believe that someone had actually looked at my resume and took the time to invite me to learn more about their company. I'll come back to Original Practice Shakespeare Co. but first I want to cover my many, many other auditions I've had since then.

After the Unified Shakes auditions, I auditioned for Portland Actors Ensemble, Lakewood Theatre Company and I attend the PATA Generals, which is the largest general audition in Oregon. The PATA's are exactly like the Unified Shakes. I prepared a contemporary monologue and a musical theatre song, both under two minutes. I auditioned for at least 20-25 companies from around the northwest. I had callbacks from Missoula Children's Theatre, Portland Musical Theatre Company, Enlightened Theatrics and Bag and Baggage (for an apprenticeship program). I was overwhelmed by the responses from these companies. I was extremely excited and absolutely terrified to now have to go to their callbacks and interviews. Callbacks are fun, thrilling and heartbreaking. I didn't get cast in any production or apprenticeship from these callbacks. Well, the Missoula Children's Theatre wants me to apply to tour in January 2018 with them, but I'm not in a place to do that at this time. I made it to the last cut of the callbacks for A Chorus Line at Enlightened Theatrics and still WAS NOT CAST.

I'm not bitter or upset about not getting cast, that's not what the ALL CAPS are for. I'm just trying to emphasize how competitive and grueling this profession is. It's emotionally, mentally and physically draining. I've barely seen my husband in the last few months due to auditions/callbacks/playgroups every weekend. I also work a full-time job during the day and a few nights a week I pick up shifts serving at Red Robin. I'm not looking for sympathy, I'm just being real. This has been my life from February to June. This is the life of a beginning, commuting young actor that loves this work and wants this life of theatre so badly. I'm not giving up. I'm learning so much along the way and using it to make myself better. I want this so badly. Don't get me wrong, I love doing this, but I've had a few breakdowns. I had two auditions schedules that I cancelled last minute due to exhaustion and anxiety. This isn't easy. There is a level of mental alertness and stamina required to be able to perform at your best over and over again.

Self-love has never been so necessary,  but also so difficult to manage. It's easy to cry and want to give up. It's harder to get back up and keep going after getting knocked down and rejected. But it's so worth it. Staying mentally healthy and fueled has never been so important. That's another reason I want to get back into regularly blogging, reading, and I want to start writing my own play. These things connect me to myself on a creative and spiritual level. Everyone should have a creative outlet of some kind to connect them with themselves. Rituals are so important too. I try to meditate the evening and morning of an audition. Even the smallest ritual of taking the time to do my hair and makeup help to relax me and put me in a more centered state of mind. But coming back to theatre and where I'm at so far has been a time of both success and failure.

I'm very proud of my success. As I mentioned above I was invited to learn more and audition for the 2017 season with Original Practice Shakespeare Festival. This company produced free, educational, outdoor summer Shakespeare in park all across the Portland Metro area. This company works with only first folio editions of Shakespeare's works. We don't rehearse our shows. We have text sessions with the artistic director about the play and the characters we're playing to give us the foundation to prepare out roles on our own. I was chosen to be an intern for this company for the 2017 summer season. I get to learn the workings of this company and also get to preform in shows. This is an exciting opportunity to learn among professionals in a growing company. I've had so much fun doing workshops and learning more about the first folio original technique. You can see my performance schedule with OPS on my new website www.KelseaAshOnstage.com

I'm always looking for auditions, classes or any opportunity to grow as an artist. After the last two auditions I cancelled in May, I redeemed myself as a recent audition this month by receiving a callback. My callback is this upcoming week, along with my first show acting and first show doing tech work for OPS. Like I said, this business is grueling, busy and relentless. Show business never stops, but I never want to stop doing it either. I love it and it's one thing that makes me most happy, (besides Stuart and my kitties).

Thank you to everyone who reads this and everyone who continues to support and inspire me!

I love you all!

And always remember to love yourselves.

'Our revels now are ended'

A very bittersweet few days of goodbyes at Shakespeare & Co. this last week. The last Monday of the intensive we had a day of rehearsals for our final scene sharing and Stuart arrived just in time to see my rehearsal time on the Playhouse stage. Tuesday we had our last full day on campus. We had our final scene sharing of 25 scenes and 3 dances we learned while at Shakes and Co.. It was full of laughter, tears, smiles and cheers! Actors couldn't ask for a better audience to perform for. We all cheered and interacted with every scene, it was unbelievably fun. We lived in the moment and dreaded having to say our goodbyes. We had a final class where we went around the circle and said, "What I want to carry with me is..., What I want to leave behind is..." and then we said "I want to  want to give you the gift of..."  to the person next to us. It was such a special way to close our time shared together and gave me a very small sense of closure. I never want full closure from this experience. I want this experience and everyone I share it with to be a piece of my everyday life.

What I want to leave behind is the voice of judgment and fear.
What I want to carry forward in being present and using my voice in everything I do and not being afraid to take up space!
I want to give everyone I know the gift of joy and laughter everyday. I want to inspire those around me to live their dreams and to never make their dreams smaller.

I can't stop thinking about the classes, exercises and wonderful conversations we had everyday. I can't stop thinking about everyone I became so close with and how I can only see them through Facebook now. I miss them all so much. The transition back into reality has been difficult. I'm fired up and ready to take on new challenges! I feel the pull to move to a bigger city with more opportunities and art happening. I don't want to get sucked back into the lifestyle I had before. I am an artist and an actor. I want to live THAT lifestyle, not one where I feel as if I'll never make it as a artist and actor. I believe that I can do it and I will. I don't want to sit back and waste time in places that aren't thriving with classes and ways to continue expanding my knowledge and love for theatre.

I have noticed a change in myself since being home. I can feel that my body is holding less tension. I'm more aware of any tension in my body and I've been feeling more confident in taking up space. It's been easier to explain my feelings in words and it feels good to communicate in a more honest and open way. I want to keep these feelings going. I am still working on following my impulses and seeing where that can take me. Whenever I'm feeling out of balance or off I am staying curious about it and trying to understand why. Re-entry is harder than I expected. Although it's hard, I am glad I can notice changes I've made in myself and I am trying hard to keep them going.

I have auditions coming up next month and in the following months that I am really looking forward to. I am trying to find classes to keep me busy and to keep my creative juices flowing. I hope to find a project to start in the next few weeks. I am journalling and reading a ton too! I want to start the workings of a play by summertime and as the ideas flow in I try to put them to paper.

If you can't tell, I'M SUPER FIRED UP! If anyone wants to work on a project together or just get together to talk about the arts, I am ready! Even a phone call works!

Thank you for supporting me when I was away and even more so now that I am home.
Loves!!!