It's been a busy few months since my last post. Since coming home from Shakespeare and Co. I've jumped right into the Portland Area theatre scene and have been doing multiple auditions a month. It's be an insane journey. My first audition in Portland since coming home was the Unified Shakespeare general auditions. I prepare two short monologues that were under two minutes total and performed them for a group of directors from many theatre companies around Portland. This was my first multi-company audition. All that it entails is showing up, preforming and waiting to see if you get any responses from directors wanting to see you again. I was ecstatic to get an email from Original Practice Shakespeare Company asking me to come to an informational meeting about their company because someone had seen me in the audition and recommended me. I couldn't believe that someone had actually looked at my resume and took the time to invite me to learn more about their company. I'll come back to Original Practice Shakespeare Co. but first I want to cover my many, many other auditions I've had since then.
After the Unified Shakes auditions, I auditioned for Portland Actors Ensemble, Lakewood Theatre Company and I attend the PATA Generals, which is the largest general audition in Oregon. The PATA's are exactly like the Unified Shakes. I prepared a contemporary monologue and a musical theatre song, both under two minutes. I auditioned for at least 20-25 companies from around the northwest. I had callbacks from Missoula Children's Theatre, Portland Musical Theatre Company, Enlightened Theatrics and Bag and Baggage (for an apprenticeship program). I was overwhelmed by the responses from these companies. I was extremely excited and absolutely terrified to now have to go to their callbacks and interviews. Callbacks are fun, thrilling and heartbreaking. I didn't get cast in any production or apprenticeship from these callbacks. Well, the Missoula Children's Theatre wants me to apply to tour in January 2018 with them, but I'm not in a place to do that at this time. I made it to the last cut of the callbacks for A Chorus Line at Enlightened Theatrics and still WAS NOT CAST.
I'm not bitter or upset about not getting cast, that's not what the ALL CAPS are for. I'm just trying to emphasize how competitive and grueling this profession is. It's emotionally, mentally and physically draining. I've barely seen my husband in the last few months due to auditions/callbacks/playgroups every weekend. I also work a full-time job during the day and a few nights a week I pick up shifts serving at Red Robin. I'm not looking for sympathy, I'm just being real. This has been my life from February to June. This is the life of a beginning, commuting young actor that loves this work and wants this life of theatre so badly. I'm not giving up. I'm learning so much along the way and using it to make myself better. I want this so badly. Don't get me wrong, I love doing this, but I've had a few breakdowns. I had two auditions schedules that I cancelled last minute due to exhaustion and anxiety. This isn't easy. There is a level of mental alertness and stamina required to be able to perform at your best over and over again.
Self-love has never been so necessary, but also so difficult to manage. It's easy to cry and want to give up. It's harder to get back up and keep going after getting knocked down and rejected. But it's so worth it. Staying mentally healthy and fueled has never been so important. That's another reason I want to get back into regularly blogging, reading, and I want to start writing my own play. These things connect me to myself on a creative and spiritual level. Everyone should have a creative outlet of some kind to connect them with themselves. Rituals are so important too. I try to meditate the evening and morning of an audition. Even the smallest ritual of taking the time to do my hair and makeup help to relax me and put me in a more centered state of mind. But coming back to theatre and where I'm at so far has been a time of both success and failure.
I'm very proud of my success. As I mentioned above I was invited to learn more and audition for the 2017 season with Original Practice Shakespeare Festival. This company produced free, educational, outdoor summer Shakespeare in park all across the Portland Metro area. This company works with only first folio editions of Shakespeare's works. We don't rehearse our shows. We have text sessions with the artistic director about the play and the characters we're playing to give us the foundation to prepare out roles on our own. I was chosen to be an intern for this company for the 2017 summer season. I get to learn the workings of this company and also get to preform in shows. This is an exciting opportunity to learn among professionals in a growing company. I've had so much fun doing workshops and learning more about the first folio original technique. You can see my performance schedule with OPS on my new website www.KelseaAshOnstage.com
I'm always looking for auditions, classes or any opportunity to grow as an artist. After the last two auditions I cancelled in May, I redeemed myself as a recent audition this month by receiving a callback. My callback is this upcoming week, along with my first show acting and first show doing tech work for OPS. Like I said, this business is grueling, busy and relentless. Show business never stops, but I never want to stop doing it either. I love it and it's one thing that makes me most happy, (besides Stuart and my kitties).
Thank you to everyone who reads this and everyone who continues to support and inspire me!
I love you all!
And always remember to love yourselves.